i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize