You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
