she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
