he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
