I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
