the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
