Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
