Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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