K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Randomize
