He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize