NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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