She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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