Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
