hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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