I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
