I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
