that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
