pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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