Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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