Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
