do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
