Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize