is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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