you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
