she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
