This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
try to milk me bitch
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