hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
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Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
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I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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