Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
zippers are such a cool invention
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
