peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
