I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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