I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
