i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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