Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
