Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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