Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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