did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
