I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
