um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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