omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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