Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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