She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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