Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
