i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
How external is "for external use only"?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
as a side note pls kill me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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