Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
