we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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