I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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