And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
