I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
