Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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