I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
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Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
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Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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