I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
