like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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