People with herpes should wear stickers.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
