I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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