is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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