it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Enjoy the penises
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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