I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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