Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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