may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
did you just send me my own nude
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
