Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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