Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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