Kiss
Puke
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
