DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
