I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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