you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
