Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
