Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
