You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
